Killing Loneliness
by Fredsonetrueluv
Summary: Another OC rider fic? Nope, not even close! Nasuada doesn't want to be alone anymore


-1**A/N: **So I was looking through all the Eragon fanfics, and I noticed something. Eragon and Murtagh have all these OC love interests, but Arya, Nasuada, Angela, Trianna, etc. have little to no one. So I thought I would take the initiative, and I encourage others to do the same. This is a one shot song fic by the way. And yes this story is totally AU, incase you couldn't figure THAT one out.

**A/N2: **Parings are Nasuada/OC, implied Nasuada/Murtagh, and implied Nasuada/Orrin

**Disclaimer: **Chris Paolini owns the Eragon series, and HIM owns the song Killing Loneliness. I own Jael.

**Killing Loneliness **

It had been weeks since she had gotten a good night's rest, and for Nasuada, this night was no exception. She spent her nights in her study, barely leaving except when forced by her worried maid, Farica. Ever since Eragon had told her the identity of the Red Rider, she had felt pressured on all sides to keep busy, appear confident, assured of victory for her peoples sake. But inside she was breaking down. She knew the Varden's chances of winning, now with Galbatorix and Murtagh opposing them, seemed hopeless.

_Murtagh_...just thinking the name sent her heart racing, her mind reeling. She had thought once that they had shared...but no, it was time to grow up, time to plan attacks. They could never be now. That could never happen, ever.

_**Memories, sharp as daggers**_

_**Pierce into the flesh of today**_

_**Suicide of love took away all that matters**_

_**And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart**_

But she still yearned for love. She may have been the Varden leader, but she was a woman too. She yearned for a man's touch, a love to return her own. Yes Orrin had put out the offer, how had he put it?

**(Flashback)**

In a small courtyard of the main castle, Nasuada sat on a stone bench deep in though. The sun, the flowers, the bees humming, they all had a soothing effect on her. She felt at peace, no maids, no court officials, no counsel, no nothing. She was just a girl, in a garden, with no worries. Well almost no worries. Even here she could not be totally alone. A quick look to her left reminded her that Jael, her personal guard, was only a shout away should she need him. She glared at him, and he grinned slightly, before turning his attention to the hallway.

"Lady Nasuada, I had hoped to find you here!"

Nasuada turned to see King Orrin, standing in the archway, smiling at her. "Orrin, please, stop with the formalities. Here I am simply Nasuada. Please, come sit with me", she forced herself to smile, a little upset that he had broken the spell of peace and quiet. She watched as Orrin crossed the courtyard, hesitantly and seemingly unsure of himself. Yes he was tall and handsome, but he lacked personality, and communication. He preferred to spend his time with his potions, instead of people.

"I come here, Nasuada, to speak of a solution. I believe if we were to unite. that is to say...Let me put it this way, you and I are two chemicals, who when we react create the acid base to breakdown the Empire..." Orrin continued to talk, but Nasuada couldn't help but tune out. He was a nice guy, but she never really understood him. "Would you concur, Nasuada? Will you take my hand in marriage?" Orrin whispered to her. Nasuada sat shell-shocked. Had Orrin just proposed to her? And using chemicals to symbolize love?! She was lost in her own thoughts, but a snigger from her left, Jael the bastard, reminded her of Orin's presence.

"Orrin, I thank you, but I am but 18 years old. I agree we would make a great match, uniting the resistance, but now is not the time for talks of marriage. We should focus on the task ahead, defeating Galbatorix once and for all. And when we are victorious, then ask me again." Nasuada looked into Orrin's eyes, hoping she had not offended him. She smiled, and he smiled back nodding his head.

"You are right, of course! I was foolish to bring this up. Another time then, _my lady_." Orrin, rose up, kissing Nasuada's hand before he left.

"You will speak of this to no one, Jael. Do you understand?" Nasuada called out to her Body Guard.

"Of course, _my lady_" Jael replied, mockingly. "I wouldn't dream of retelling such a humorous tale. It will be our little secret"

"You would do well to remember your place, good sir. I am your liege, do not think I take your humor lightly" Nasuada retorted, trying to sound superior. As she left the courtyard, she couldn't help but allow herself a small smile. It had been a little funny...maybe.

**(End Flashback)**

Nasuada smiled to herself again, as she remembered that day. She got up from her desk, and walked to her great window, opening it. Staring out into the night she once again thought of Murtagh. Was he looking at the same stars as she? Were the gods looking down on her now, laughing at her misfortune?

_**With the venomous kiss you gave me**_

_**I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)**_

_**With the warmth of your arms you saved me,**_

_**Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you**_

_**I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb**_

_**I'm killing loneliness**_

She felt hot tears fall down her face. Her father was dead, she felt alone, and she felt as if she carried the weight and the future of the free world on her shoulders. She heard her study door crack open, the door hinges creaking.

"Farica, I'm quite alright. I don't need you tonight." Nasuada said. She tried to dry her eyes, concealing her torment, before turning around.

"It is I, _my lady_, Jael. "

Nasuada turned around, seeing the man before her. Jael was tall, broad shouldered, with dirty blond hair that fell just past his shoulders. His chocolate brown eyes searched hers, worried. He was older, maybe 20, 21, but she had known him since before her father died.

_**Nailed to the cross, together**_

_**As solitude begs us to stay**_

_**Disappear in the lie forever**_

_**And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war**_

"I thought I heard something, I came to check that you were alright. Have you been crying?" Forgetting decorum, Jael walked through the threshold to the window. He pulled out of his pocket a dirty piece of cloth and handed it to her. "It's all I have, sorry." He apologized.

"Thank you, Jael. It's been a long night, I swear I'm not usually this emotional...I...I..."Nasuada tried to fight back the tears, but the more she thought about her father, the worse she felt. She felt Jael's strong arms wrap around her, and she leaned against him, pouring her soul out. When she was done, she looked up at him. She was about to speak, about to apologize for making him listen to her, when his lips devoured hers, pulling her into a passionate frenzy. She returned the kiss, with such urgency and need, grasping his hair in her fingers. Gasping for breath they both pulled apart afraid to speak. Jael spoke first.

_**With the venomous kiss you gave me**_

_**I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)**_

_**With the warmth of your arms you saved me,**_

_**Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you**_

_**I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb**_

_**I'm killing loneliness**_

_**Killing loneliness**_

"Excuse me, my liege. I crossed the line, I put you at risk..." Jael stuttered, "I will retire from my position in the morning..."

"I kissed you back, it is my fault as much as yours. I don't care about risk, or position, or the Varden right now. I don't care about tomorrow, just tonight, be with me tonight." She cried, pulling him back into a kiss. This time Jael didn't pull back. Lifting her into his arms he brought her down gently onto the rug-covered floor. For one night, if only one night, Nasuada wanted to feel loved. Hang Galbatorix. Hang Murtagh. Hang responsibility and duty.

_**With the venomous kiss you gave me**_

_**I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)**_

_**With the warmth of your arms you saved me**_

**AN3: **Thanks for reading it. Hopefully you review. Constructive criticism welcome. If you hated it, I want to know why! Now go out there and write some Girl Character/OC fics!!


End file.
